Ninjas of Nürnberg

So Desi and I took our annual Christmas market trip international this year and booked a package deal to Nuremberg, Germany because:

a) Nuremberg is internationally known for its fantastic Christmas market, 

b) Desi's dad had been there and confirmed it's a wicked time, and

c) Strasbourg was completely booked.

The train ride from Zurich is six hours.  To fortify us, I did two things: made a liter of pineapple mimosas and read a well-timed article in the New York Times called "10 Apps That Make Magic on Your iPad," which gave me the genius idea of downloading Fruit Ninja.  

www.fruitninja.com
Trust me, you want this.  You need this.

If you have not yet downloaded Fruit Ninja...you need to get on that.  Fruit Ninja is a deceptively simple game whereby one swipes their finger across the touch screen in an attempt to slice fruit ninja-style (duh) while avoiding bombs and snagging wicked magic bananas that add considerably to your score and happiness.  The hours flew playing this game as we hurtled towards Middle Franconia, and Desi managed to hit a jaw-dropping best score of 408, a feat we later came nowhere near to approaching again.  Desi is able to accomplish this due to her dexterous hands, slim fingers and the fact that G-d clearly loves her more.

But I digress.  In any event, we finally made it to Nuremberg.

"Christmas Market: Glühwein inspection!"
Clearly, they heard we were coming.   

Before Berlin or Munich were much of anything, Nuremberg was where it was at, considered back in the day to be the unofficial capital of the Holy Roman Empire.  The Kaiserburg, the fortified castle at the top of the city, was built in the 11th century and served as a palatinate (Pfalz) for the Emperor's frequent visits to the city.  In fact, it was law that the every German Kaiser spend at least his first day in office in Nuremberg.  Fast forward to the 20th century, when Nuremberg was the site of massive Nazi rallies and where the infamous Racial Purity Laws were proclaimed.  Accordingly, the Allies bombed the crap out of them, obliterating 90% of the city's historical buildings.  Happily, Nuremberg has risen like a phoenix from the ashes and reconstructions have returned it to its past splendor.

Our first view of the market - but first stop was lunch!

Planning our plan of attack

After a fortifying lunch of German cuisine and beer, D-Ninja and I made our way into the massive crowds at market, held in the Hauptmarkplatz (which is, Desi learned, the largest pedestrian zone in Europe).  The Hauptmarktplatz is located in what was once the Jewish quarter of Nuremberg and in 1349 during some plague hysteria was unfortunately also the site of a massive pogrom.  Three years later, Karl IV commissioned the church that stands there today, the Catholic Frauenkirche, whose ornate facade thankfully survived the Allies' bombs.  Likewise for the Schöner Brunnen (literally, Beautiful Fountain), located in its golden opulence at the piazza's corner.

Crowds at the Hauptmarktplatz

Beautiful ladies visit beautiful fountains

Me in front of the Frauenkirche

Night quickly fell but the crowds stayed, visiting stalls stuffed with Christmas decorations, toys and gifts while keeping up their energy (and warmth) with famous Nuremberger Lebkuchen (gingerbread), Rostbratwurst, and (my personal favorite) Glühwein.  Sometimes it's very obvious why things are traditions; Desi and I happily partook of these delicious treats to stay warm and happy.  (Except for the bratwursts, which were more like mini breakfast sausages and I am not sure how I feel about them being called bratwursts because I don't feel like they're really big enough to qualify.  But I'm hardly an expert.)

Christmas Schmuck & other market treasures

Hot spiced wine: the delicious way to warm the blood

Eventually, after a long day of travel, seasonal sights and delights and cold, we called it a day, slept a few hours, and then kept going.  Fortified by a full English breakfast (coincidentally being seated next to some very loud English people), our first stop was to the Handwerkhof, a quaint - albeit tourist trap - walled-in area near to the city wall's tower with medieval-esque shops selling handcrafts.  

Poor Desi, being forced to pose yet again at the Handwerkhof

We then trekked up the hill to visit the castle and take in the view of the city below.  

Nuremberg rooftops from the Kaiserburg

On the way down, we accidentally walked into some kids' event but managed to beat a retreat before getting further sucked in and instead enjoyed the smaller "international" Christmas market of Nuremberg's sister cities - with some nice surprises.

Visiting our English-speaking friends

Then we wrote some postcards and headed out.  There was some slight freaking out (okay, me freaking out) at the train station when we got there and it appeared that trains were somewhat (and in some cases, considerably) backed up.  

Guaranteed to make the Swiss in me freak

Happily, we were able to board ours and make our connection in Munich, returning tired, safe and sound to Zurich.  Well, "sound" more or less, and already looking forward to next year!  : )

Official Glühwein tasting judges
Second Annual International Glühwein Tasting Extravaganza
11-12 December 2010 - Nürnberg, Deutschland

I'm not late; I'm Italian.

I've just come back from four days in Rome, where I had a fantastic and fascinating time with an ever-moving crowd of Italians who took it upon themselves to ensure I had the best Roman experience ever.  Aside from the office of EY Rome (very convival and very energetic), I experienced Rome within the warm and ever-moving cocoon of Chiara, Bruno, Luca, Lidia, Eva and so many others with fantastic Italian names that I cannot list them all.

For approximately two years and some odd months, my friend Chiara has been insisting that I come to Rome with a dogged persistance that I usually equate with teenage boys trying to get to first base or people who trek across the Antarctic.  What could I do but finally kick myself into gear, book my Swiss-ified soul onto a plane full of boisterous Italians and head south to graciously accept her offer to stay with her, Bruno (her fiancé) and Luca (her brother) in their flat in south Rome?

Having already been to Rome a few times, I could enjoy things like driving past the Colosseum and having a drink at the Campo dei Fiori wihtout going into a raputurous "Oh, my g-d, it's HISTORY!" touristic freakout and instead could focus on the finer ways of Italian living.  Chiara, my quintessentially Italian friend (above, right), was a terrific role model.  From her, I learned many things like how to look beautiful and serene whilst walking over massive cobblestone streets, how to drink a cappuccino in 3 mintues flat, how to properly carry on two separate conversations on two different mobiles at the same time, and how to find the Pantheon from the Piazza Navona (evidently they moved it).  And that's not all I learned!

How to tell time in Italian

Understanding a few simple things in Italian will not only make your stay in the Eternal City that much more enjoyable and help you to avoid confusion and frustration, not the least learning how to tell time. Below are some helpful phrases and their translations to make getting around easy and stress-free.

"Now" = sometime within the next 60-90 minutes
"I'll meet you at the gelateria 3:30." = I'll see you there sometime around 4:15ish.
"I'm just arriving now." = I'm on the same side of the Tibur as you are.

Keep your cool and resist the urge to call your dawdling friend if only five minutes have passed.  Instead, watch the Romans milling about, admire the impressive architecture and, if at all possible, throw your watch into the river next time you pass it.

Eating in Italy

St Peter's may cast its shadow over Rome, but the true Italian religion is food. My week was spent in rapture over plates of pasta, pizza, cheese, wine, cornetti, coffee and tiramisu. In flagrant disregard of the deadly sin of gluttony, I abandoned myself to the incredible cuisine of the Italian kitchen.

Chiara & Bruno also took me to Travestere, a unique quarter of Rome.  Amidst the bars and cafés is a small bookstore with a bar in the back where you can treat yourself to a "Shortino," a tiny shot of liqueur poured into thin chocolate cup and topped with whipped cream and sprinkles. 

(Editors note: evidently, "shortino" is a bastardization of the actual name, which is "shottino," or "little shot."  However, to quote my source who hails from Calabria, as "Romans are ignorant," the vast majority of people now refer to them as "shortini.")

Shortini need to enjoyed in a very special way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxlR-UxsjbA

Here is the menu.  For those of you who can read Italian, you might get a chuckle:

And speaking of religion, I can confirm that there really is a G-d, and I'm pretty sure he plays for FC Palermo.  Though he is a bit younger than I expected.