I'm not late; I'm Italian.

I've just come back from four days in Rome, where I had a fantastic and fascinating time with an ever-moving crowd of Italians who took it upon themselves to ensure I had the best Roman experience ever.  Aside from the office of EY Rome (very convival and very energetic), I experienced Rome within the warm and ever-moving cocoon of Chiara, Bruno, Luca, Lidia, Eva and so many others with fantastic Italian names that I cannot list them all.

For approximately two years and some odd months, my friend Chiara has been insisting that I come to Rome with a dogged persistance that I usually equate with teenage boys trying to get to first base or people who trek across the Antarctic.  What could I do but finally kick myself into gear, book my Swiss-ified soul onto a plane full of boisterous Italians and head south to graciously accept her offer to stay with her, Bruno (her fiancé) and Luca (her brother) in their flat in south Rome?

Having already been to Rome a few times, I could enjoy things like driving past the Colosseum and having a drink at the Campo dei Fiori wihtout going into a raputurous "Oh, my g-d, it's HISTORY!" touristic freakout and instead could focus on the finer ways of Italian living.  Chiara, my quintessentially Italian friend (above, right), was a terrific role model.  From her, I learned many things like how to look beautiful and serene whilst walking over massive cobblestone streets, how to drink a cappuccino in 3 mintues flat, how to properly carry on two separate conversations on two different mobiles at the same time, and how to find the Pantheon from the Piazza Navona (evidently they moved it).  And that's not all I learned!

How to tell time in Italian

Understanding a few simple things in Italian will not only make your stay in the Eternal City that much more enjoyable and help you to avoid confusion and frustration, not the least learning how to tell time. Below are some helpful phrases and their translations to make getting around easy and stress-free.

"Now" = sometime within the next 60-90 minutes
"I'll meet you at the gelateria 3:30." = I'll see you there sometime around 4:15ish.
"I'm just arriving now." = I'm on the same side of the Tibur as you are.

Keep your cool and resist the urge to call your dawdling friend if only five minutes have passed.  Instead, watch the Romans milling about, admire the impressive architecture and, if at all possible, throw your watch into the river next time you pass it.

Eating in Italy

St Peter's may cast its shadow over Rome, but the true Italian religion is food. My week was spent in rapture over plates of pasta, pizza, cheese, wine, cornetti, coffee and tiramisu. In flagrant disregard of the deadly sin of gluttony, I abandoned myself to the incredible cuisine of the Italian kitchen.

Chiara & Bruno also took me to Travestere, a unique quarter of Rome.  Amidst the bars and cafés is a small bookstore with a bar in the back where you can treat yourself to a "Shortino," a tiny shot of liqueur poured into thin chocolate cup and topped with whipped cream and sprinkles. 

(Editors note: evidently, "shortino" is a bastardization of the actual name, which is "shottino," or "little shot."  However, to quote my source who hails from Calabria, as "Romans are ignorant," the vast majority of people now refer to them as "shortini.")

Shortini need to enjoyed in a very special way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxlR-UxsjbA

Here is the menu.  For those of you who can read Italian, you might get a chuckle:

And speaking of religion, I can confirm that there really is a G-d, and I'm pretty sure he plays for FC Palermo.  Though he is a bit younger than I expected.